in the process

“my first love broke my heart for the first time”

that’s a perfect phrase to describe what im feeling right now. im broken. im lost. i don’t even know my worth anymore. i hate myself. i hate myself because i made you my world. i gave you my everything and you left me with nothing…. nothing but our memories together. 

It’s been 4 months since you’ve left me. I still can’t get you out of my mind. Seeing you with another girl breaks my heart into a million pieces. I thought replacing you would mend my broken heart… but it only made things worse. I’ve lost myself. It also made me question God… question my faith in him.

I thought you were the one. our relationship had imperfections but we made it through a year and a half. then when things got worst. you left me. you left me when i needed you the most. you said that you just needed time but after a few weeks you already found a new replacement. It hurts as hell.

At first, i thought moving on wouldn’t be this hard, there were times i thought i was over you, but there came one night that i really needed to talk to you and it brought back every memory i spent with you. every time i see you on social media sites, it makes me miss you more.

One thing i realized. you’re not the only man on Earth. i know someday, someone will treat me better. the way i deserve to be treated.

But for now…i know im in the process of healing. I’m in the process of knowing who i really am.

I just want to thank you for making me stronger and making me a better person and i hope that you’ll treat her better than the way you treated me.



I blog what I feel. I hope I inspire you somehow.

2 thoughts on “in the process

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